It's all part of my rock and roll fantasy...

Dec 15

My heart feels so full…

I was playing Nirvana on the way to Chili’s tonight and it just fit so wonderfully. My dinner wasn’t what I ordered, but the waiter was so sweet and so apologetic that it wasn’t a big deal at all. The manager gave me a free dessert and all I can think about is the fact that it feels so funny. Funny like giggling, funny. Funny, because it felt like such a little mistake. Compared to everything else that it could be, it was nothing. I just felt lucky or blessed, way over-blessed. On the way home, I played Nirvana again and it still fit, which is rare. Music rarely ever feels like it fits consistently. It almost made me sleepy, it was so nice. When I got home, I changed into my pajamas and played a little Same Cooke, Etta James, Amy Winehouse and the Beatles. I can’t explain how good it felt; which, apparently has been a common occurrence lately - not being able to explain exactly how I feel. I guess I’m at a loss for words…literally. But, that’s not even it. It’s just that the past week or so, I’ve been trying really hard…at a million things and today I finished cleaning; yesterday, I finished decorating… tonight, I just felt done. Like I’d done all that I needed to do. ever. I know, of course, that’s not true. There’s lots to do and lots of life to live! But, right now I just feel so satisfied. Here I am, playing Kathleen Edwards and just feeling like all that’s in me will spill over, as if it were a bowl of soup or something. It’s crazy.

  1. lillyspurpleplasticpurse posted this